About
I'm Sharday. A sister. Friend. Thinker. Builder. Writer. Student. Teacher. Dreamer. I moved to Zhejiang, a south eastern province of China in September 2015. This was my first time traveling to Asia. The idea of exploring the unknown, had me in a perpetual state of excitement last summer. Upon entering China, and perhaps most expats who have relocated for professional purposes feel this way, but, I was in awe.
I immediately realized how unprepared I was for this cultural immersion. For days at a time, my feelings of fascination were replaced with confusion, disappointment, frustration and sadness. One of the most difficult realities is the inevitable, feeling of isolation. As a Chinese resident from America, I discovered just how much I enjoy being a part of my community back home. But longing for this comfort became a bitter trap. I had to make a conscious effort to enjoy "the now" while living so far away from my loved ones. When left to my own thoughts, it became easy to obsess over missing my friends and family. I had to make my experience here worth while. I sacrificed so much, just to move here at this stage in my life... by taking on the challenge and becoming an expat here, I mastered my strength of mind.
China has taught me to be patient with myself and with this process called life. I was anxious to move here from the moment I received my graduate school acceptance letter last March. But by my second day in Hangzhou, I had actually started second guessing wether I had made the right decision for myself. Fast forward eight months into the future. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I have stretched my mind in ways I never thought I could. The journal entries and email clips below sort of document my emotions and the relationships that have continued to feed my spirit since my relocaton. I have some incredible people in my life and I am eternally grateful for them. I've also met some beautiful people since moving here and I trust that these relationships will remain a constant throughout this season of faith, growth and progress.
On Oct 8, 2015, at 7:39 PM, Sharday Weston <sharday.weston> wrote:
Wow! This is just Awesome! You can definitely count me in Cecilia. I am attending this trip. Thank you to you and the university for extending this gracious offer.
Sharday
On Oct 8, 2015, at 4:30 PM, <ceciliacc> <ceciliacc1987> wrote:
Dear all,
Our university plans to arrange cultural visit for all of our foreign teachers next weekend . We plan to visit the city of Changxing (in Chinese 长兴), which is also a city of Zhejiang Province and is famous for its beautiful scenery in autumn. We plan to depart in the morning of 17th (Saturday), stay in Changxing for Saturday night and come back after lunch on 18th (Sunday). Our university will cover transportation, accommodation, meals and etc, you do not need to pay.
It would be greatly appreciated if you can let me know whether you have interest in joining in this cultural visit no later than tomorrow, so that I could start to make arrangement.
--------------------------------
Best Regards
崔纯
Cecilia Cui
浙江传媒学院国际交流与合作处、港澳台办
International Office, ZUMC
Nov. 7th, 2015
Today is a good day. I don’t know why I’ve (mentally) made such a big deal about journaling in my journal. I went through the trouble of buying a journal from CVS pharmacy this past Spring and I actually hate writing in it. It just feels awkward I guess. The book doesn’t seem to be big enough (the pages that is, length and width wise) Come to think of it, I prefer typing because I can say (write) waaaaay much more without my fricken hand cramping up on me. On the other hand, I do think writing in a journal, by way of regular handwriting is more, say crafty? Unique? May be it’ll be more precious for my daughters to look at when they reach my age… (smile)
Anyhow, I’m feeling pretty honored today. I broke out into tears after reading a message from one of my girlfriends back home. Ms. Candace Williams, hahaha. I love Candy. We met in college, and became good friends by our sophomore year. She had a different major than me. She studied Accounting in the business department and I studied Political Science. Anyhow, she told me she was proud of me today. Who knew? I mean, I look up to many of my friends. Of course this is a “friendly” thing to say, but they are all very beautiful women, ya know, inside and out. And most of them, just truly demonstrate their strength, either through their personalities and the things they say and share in our conversations, or simply by what they do… embrace their future plans and all of the unknowns in their lives with pure courage. Just beautiful freaking human beings ya know? Candace, Lonna, Renee, Maryum, I just adore these girls. And today, Candace reached out to me via the gram (lol). I gotta come up with a better way to keep in touch with them. They keep me alive! They keep me inspired. They revive my creativity. And they keep my spirit at a level of prosperity. Even today for example, I came across Renee’s farewell card from my China celebration dinner. I couldn’t help but giggle. She knows “my crazy”. She appreciates my off the wall ideas—she’ll question my sanity from time to time, but positively (though that seems like an oxymoron), never in a condescending manner. Her interactions with me, empower me rather than denounce me; she tries to provoke me to thought in ways that will help me “think” forward; never denouncing my actions so that I begin to question myself in an unhealthy way. This is what real women do. Uplift. And today, Candace, when I definitely wasn’t expecting it, hit me with the bomb that just sent me into uncontrollable tears. And I needed that.
Sometimes I do feel a bit isolated here. Because I’m a woman, because my second proficient language is Spanish and not Mandarin lol, because my skin is a brown hue, because I don’t really care to be around people for the sake of doing so (lol, ain’t nothing changed, same ol’ Day Day from the Atlanta and NYC days). I’ve grown accustomed to being by myself, and this ain’t at all, all bad. But doing this in another country can be isolating. And I’ve discovered that the more connected I remain to my sisters who inspire me, then, the less lonely I feel out here. So today, Candace, a beautiful sister of mine…whom I’ve always admired, with a beautifully clear, ebony complexion, hips from our ancestors and a mind bursting with bold brilliance, wit and sincerity… She told me, “I’m proud of you.” And along came the tears. Sometimes we do seek validation—we want to know that what we’re doing is right. That we’re trotting along the right path, and making the proper decisions, and really, well, we may never know what’s what until we’ve lived through the experience. And lately I’ve been questioning myself: was this the move to make? Are you on track with your goals? Are you planning accordingly for your return to the states? …. Simply put, sometimes we all can use an extra ounce of encouragement—a kind gesture between sisters. This honorable mention from my sister-girlfriend-momma-confidant today, well, that was all I needed.
Signing off,
Sharday
December 5th, 2015
I promised I’d make today a productive one. I left the house at around 10ish, and headed towards campus. The only interim stop I planned was a trip to the post office. (I wrote a letter to the love of my life this past Monday and kept promising I’d mail it off.) I knew it was gonna rain today but when I made it downstairs, I realized it was a cold rain. (Ewww, I hate those.) Initially, despite the rain I was determined to walk to the post office (since its in the same direction as campus). I bought a book bag about a month after my arrival here. By month two, the book bag had already been demolished (poor craftsmanship) so now, amidst the cold precipitation, all I have is my trusty LV bag to carry my very expensive, VERY essential laptop. (I’m beginning to hate this bag, lol, and everything it stands for…Ha, but that’s neither here no there J) All that said, I decided to take the bus to the post office, and then walk to campus from that point. I dropped the letter off. I walked to campus and so far, all seemed well with my productivity plans. I reached the teachers’ café at 11:39am. I’m a little nervous because I know they’re not due to open until 12 noon (and remember, its cold and rainy here.) But yayy!! The guy that works there appears to be in early. He’s pretty pleasant. I can sense this although we cannot verbally understand each other. I proceeded to the back of the café so that I’m not positioned next to the main entrance. I can imagine that this is the coldest spot in the joint. I got comfortable at a table next to a power outlet. Took my down jacket off, unloaded my lunch for the day and set up my computer. About 15 minutes later, I couldn’t help but notice that it was FREEZING in this place.
My parents, my boyfriend, anyone who knows me, KNOWS that I don’t like the cold. I don’t like cold climates and I certainly won’t torture myself by sitting in an ice cold room. I tried to locate one of my students on We Chat so that she could translate for me. I wanted to express to the shopkeeper that I wanted him to turn on the heat. After waiting on my student’s response, I realized I’d better try and contact someone else. In the meantime, my toes were becoming more and more stiff; my butt and hands also felt frost bitten (ask me how I know.) Next I called my Chinese friend Amber. No answer. I eventually walked up to the shopkeeper, gesturing to him that I was cold, then touched his hand with the back of my hand so he could see how cold I was. We both walked over to the entrance where both heaters were. I walked rightward, realizing (fcccccckkkkk) the heat WAS on L. He walked to the leftside though, and turned that one on too. I quickly changed my strategy and relocated all of my belongings to a table by the entrance of the café. I tried to sit directly where the heat was blowing and ended up setting up shop behind a planted tree. Even though I was at the café to do homework, I felt compelled to write my love an email. In the middle of typing, I noticed my phone was lighting up. It read “missed call: Robert”. Ha! I love that he and I do this. It seems no matter where we are in this world, we’re often thinking of each other at the same time J Although my cell coverage is crappy on campus, I proceed to fiddle with my phone to create a strong enough signal to phone my love. After maybe 10 minutes of repeating myself and listening to flat air, only to have his voice reemerge, I finally decided to end the call. I had sent him several text messages this morning stating that I may be unreachable because I was going to campus to get some work done. Apparently, not only had he not received the messages but, this plan of mine to embark on this uber productive day just wasn’t working out. I was freezing my ass off in that damn cave of a café. I couldn’t concentrate which is why I jumped up to try and answer Robert’s calls. For the duration of our phone call, I stood by the heater to absorb whatever warmth it blew. After ending the call, I packed my things and headed to the door. Off to the bus stop…”I’m going back home” is all I could think of, but first, I stopped at the school store to pick up some fruit. As I walked through the University accommodation area, I could see my bus, the 369, already sitting at the bus station across the street. There was no way I could make it, and an instant frown took covered my face. Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. “Guess I’ll be posted here til the next one comes” I thought and waited for the light at the crosswalk. It had only been maybe 3 minutes as I stood standing when I realized, that it was no longer raining. “are you fckking kidding me?” I’m pretty sure if I said this out loud no one would have understood me but, I just stood there and giggled as the snow blended rain, began to tumble from the sky in huge grey pieces. There you have it. It’s snowing here in Hangzhou. My worst nightmare has come in to fruition. My sentiments aren’t nearly as damned as they read. I’m really more shocked by the temperature and humored by my naivety. And just think. I almost started not to pack a winter coat at all before I moved here. Ha!!!
December 21, 2015
What a weekend—continued…
Saturday December 19th was a fun day for quite a few reasons… did I already mention that I’ve been the biggest hermit over the past couple of months? Geeeesh, so I’m finally getting out of my apartment and exploring more of Hangzhou. On Friday night I was on youtube and stumbled upon a video this British guy linked to HappyCow. The video recorded his experience at this Vegetarian spot here, near West Lake. I immediately shared this with Mara (my fellow foreign language teacher-friend, here) and by Saturday afternoon we were in search of this beloved Vegetarian haven. Don’t ask me the name of it though… I just know we took the red metro line to the “far-as-hell” stop, lol (I think it was Ding’gan) and walked for about 3 blocks.
Oh my, the menu is presented on a tablet so you can zoom in on the photos… We ordered mustard greens (couldn’t quite tell if they were mustards or kale, but I’m leaning on mustards), fried breaded lotus root stuffed with potatoes and mock meat, stir fried rice noodles, a papaya soup that’s prepared in half of a papaya shell, although it was pictured on the menu as a pumpkin or sweet potato pie, with crust and all but I digress…Haha, we also ordered eggplant which was served with parsley in a brown sauce, that was rather light and lastly, sweet and sour chicken which wasn’t chicken at all but fried mushrooms tossed in sweet and sour sauce with red and green pepper. EUREKA!!! I ate with reckless abandon. It has been a struggle communicating to waiters and cashiers here “Bu chi rou”. Which means, I don’t eat meat. Hell, I want to add an explicative in there so they get the picture and there’s no confusion. I don’t eff with meat. I don’t have anything against it, I just have no interest in consuming it. I digress. Anyways, for all these reasons, Saturday was a blast. I actually ate tooooo much lol. But with all that said, I’ll definitely be going back. Grrrrrrrr, I still can’t remember the name of this place… hmmm, Hong Shao Kang. (I think)
Signing off,
Sharday
On Mar 5, 2016, at 2:55 PM, Sharday Weston <sharday.weston> wrote:
I'm back in Hangzhou. On the metro platform as I write this (waiting for my train to Wenze Rd.) Yea, the stop before my stop. I'm gonna go back to the Nike Outlet store to get some sneakers. I bought these New Balances back in 2013 and I'm starting to feel it. My new sneakers will give me less of an excuse as to why I'm not turning over a new leaf. The gym that I joined is probably open for business again. I'm committed to being more active and eating more of whats good for me. The winter hibernation diet is officially over :0) (I can profess that loudly, now that I had my last bout of Subway cookies at Shanghaihongqiao upon your departure.)
I didn't mean to breakdown like that... even writing about that moment brings me to tears all over again (and my eyes are watering). I just couldn't stand the thought of separating from you. I'm working with my mind to bury that feeling, and strategize and execute all of the opportunities at my fingertips til the end of the year (til the end of never). But that way when I see you this summer, it'll be a reuniting and a holiday well deserved. I love you Robert Bostic. I will write you a thousand love letters until we part from this Earth. But next time, I'll be writing you from across town, or from a short distance away while we're both walking into our dreams. I feel a bit tormented by our distance sometimes. But after China, I'm not leaving your side.
I love you babe. Please email or call me when you get this message.
Love,
Sharday
March 24th, 2016
It’s a quarter to 10am and here I am in a coffee shop across the street from campus. It’s a swanky little place. With dark concrete colored walls that serve the purpose of a chalk board, I feel like I could easily pick this place up, drop it in the middle of Tribeca or Harlem and it would fit right in. It feels familiar in here…
I’ve walked by this place hundreds of times. My recent cravings for Chipotle paved my path into this spot this morning though. Last night, well more like yesterday afternoon, I ate Malaban. I was at a restaurant that I frequent near school. Afterward I went to the Teacher’s Café on campus where I checked homework and emails for a few hours. Once my hunger set in again, (or really once the Malaban had pretty much digested) my mind began to wander about what I’d find for dinner. I’m tired of this food though. Gimme some Chipotle! And in all of my delirium, I legitimately began to ponder Chipotle as if it were a fricken option. My feelings were hurt. Truly hurt. No Chipotle… so what else is at my disposal? Pizza Hut! Ahhhh, I had stooped to an all time low. Wednesday marked a week since my consistent attendance and effort in my local gym. I’m trying to cut back on all the crap I’ve been eating though… the rice, the bread, the noodles, the sweet potato chips, Lays, the sweets, cashew nuts… Something’s gotta go! I’m trying get back to this girlish figure of mine!
But here I am… its breakfast time. I was strolling past Café Niche and wammm. They got me. They have a waffle display in the window—and they got my butt, hook, line and sinker lol. I’ll take pictures hahaha, true tourist style. And I’ll report back to you about the whole experience. I miss home. Hopefully this will stimulate me for the time being.
*Note - in all of my excitement about this food, I never did get around to photographing it. It came adorned with whip cream, was served with two fruity sauces. One rasberry and the other strawberry. Below is a picture of how the waffles are served in the Teachers' Cafe on campus. They're even tastier than the waffles at Cafe Niche... and they're only 12 quai.
April 3, 2015
Blood, sweat and tears, you hear me?! Straight blood, sweat, and tears.
I had to do an identical task last semester (uploading one of my teaching activities that is…) and in all of my naivety, I simply asked one of my teaching buddies to come to one of my classes and record my lesson on my iPhone. About 5 minutes into the lesson, my phone ran out of memory. FML (were my thoughts!) But then one of my students offered up her phone. Later on that night, she even uploaded the video to youkou (yea, that’s China’s version of youtube) so the hard part was complete.
Me, being the problem solver that I am… when the same activity came full circle this semester I was like “cool”. Piece of cake. I’ll just ask Rachel (my student from last semester) to film my class. If she declined, I’d ask someone else but the process was so easy breezy last semester, it only made sense to involve her.
So here goes. Rachel comes to class, she’s on time, everything is cool. She records me. I’m appreciative. But after class she let’s me know that she doesn’t have her laptop so she’ll have to email me the video. (side eye) Still appreciative, I’m like hell the hard part is over, I’m sure I can get this online somehow and whatever it is I’ll work it out. So we end up transferring the files with no problem. There were actually 3 different clips.
My kids were not having it during this class activity. They hated it. They were clearly perplexed. I had to tell ‘em 5 damn times TURN THE ARTICLE OVER. THE ARTICLE SHOULD BE FACE TIME. YOU SHOULDN’T BE READING THE ARTICLE. CONSULT WITH YOUR PARTNER. WHAT QUESTIONS CAN WE ASK OURSELVES IN ORDER TO SEE WHAT ITS ABOUT? The idea of it all is to scan the article briefly, basically viewing whatever words are in bold letters so that you can begin brainstorming what the article may be about… and how do we brain storm? By implementing the 5W-1H Scan. WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY and HOW. I don’t think they gave a damn though. They just wanted the right answers — and were clearly terrified to blurt out a response that I may have overlooked or disregarded. Paaaaain. That activity was a paaaaaain. But thank God for my new found directorial and editing skills! iMovie gets a high-5 for that cus I basically breezed through the editorial on how to import, edit and add the transitions and all. The app pretty much does the rest for you. Thank you to my pal Justin, too. I saw his video online and asked how he did his. I know Justin. He is not going for no Oscar nomination so I figured the whole shabang had to be simple. That is, until compression time (insert side eye, insert sucking of the teeth, insert all the F bombs, shrugs, shrieks, and straight faces of utter annoyance. WTF imovie!? How in the F word am I suppose to get this damn finished product uploaded to youtube? On my own personal rocketship?????????
I sat in Starbucks for tooo dyamm lahhngg trying to get this thing situated. FYI my phone is broken so there was no consulted with Justin or my other homies about how they did theirs. Then I thought… Duhhh, look at Justin’s vid again… He uploaded his to his Google drive. Tried it. My comp said “nahh, that ain’t happening fa us tonight”. 😖😩😢 I don’t ever think I’ve been this frustrated or this stressed. In fact, this is probably one of may the two most stressful days of my life… Anyhooooo, all of that drama and ya road scholar finally figured it out. Dilute the resolution (grrrrrrrrrrrrrr) Yea, yea, yea… it’s only 12:33am already.
My bedtime as of the past week has been 9pm, due to my 5:30am sunrise. This thing had me so wired though, I’m WIDE AWAKE.
Enjoy the video though… in all its blurriness lol
P.S.- I am not proofreading this, just tapping sennnnnnnnnd :)
P.S.S.- so the picture below is not a photograph of the same students from the video. The video captures a lesson from a class that I am currently teaching. Below are my students from my very first Oral English class from last Fall. These young people were nothing less than brilliant! We formed a special bond and I believe we pushed each other to be better. Better students, better listeners and better people. Working with them helped me to create my first TESOL curriculum. Many of them have been studying English since the 5th grade. Eventually I learned that their English competency was more of an exception, rather than the rule. I love these kids and I'll never forget that hungry energy they brought to class. They were eager to learn, ready to improve and they truly made this entire teaching experience worth it.
